“Threats to our standing in the eyes of others are remarkably potent biologically, almost as powerful as those to our very survival.” [1]
A positive reaction can brighten somebody’s day. So why
not build people around us with joyful and humorous exchanges. Of course,
without sounding phoney or insincere by saying things and not meaning them;
timely and meaningful approval generates an aura of brilliance.
The
focus is to be authentic and distinctive and value something real about the
person. There are several ways to articulate our admiration for others that
strengthen relationships. Their infectious smile, bright personality, kind
words and it can go on. It makes them feel supported, heard and valued.
Here are some of my observations in my continuous journey of learning.
Being Precise and Personal
Compliments
that create effervescence are those that are exact points to the person.
Instead of saying “you are amazing,” let us say why they’re amazing. If we like
the painting someone made, “nice” isn’t enough. What is nice? Being specific
works wonders.
This
reminds me of our first poetry assignment in Year 1 of college. We had written
a critical analysis of “The Skylark”. The class had done a shoddy job and as
for me, I went overboard using the word “beautiful”! Most of us got a dose of
unforgettable reprimand. While handing over the answer script, my Professor,
said “beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! For heaven’s sake please may, I also
understand what you found beautiful?” It stuck so strong, these days I run word
count to see if I repeated without qualifying.
Mentioning
something exact directs praise to the person and is genuine. There must be a
reason to applaud and it’s nice to say it aloud. The more definite our effort
is the more we will observe the worth of individuals. We generate a positive
impression on the person.
People
love to hear their name. Verbalizing, in our unique style can be a way of
presenting a kind word of feeling personal and special. We may consider starting
by using their name. And also structuring words that revolve around the person.
Names
communicate recognition and a sense of adoration. Complimenting someone’s style
seems shallow-observing their uniqueness can enliven the conversation. It goes
beyond a smart shoe or a pretty necklace.
Acknowledging One's Effort and Impact
The key to appreciation is honesty and genuineness;
period. No fluff and no lies. This also means picking the right moment rather
than throwing them around.
Most
people love feeling appreciated; a positive word of their impact will mean the
world. Yet, approving or articulating approbation for somebody seems awkward.
Is it because we do not verbalise or communicate constructive sentiment? The
core is to be unambiguous. Truthful and warm applause can be powerful in
changing the way one perceives. Stating ‘you look great’ will have lesser
influence than “I admire your lovely smile”.
Let us acknowledge; it is never
too much to appreciate. In fact, it edifies gratitude, in our soul.
