I didn’t know you were leaving

 “I didn’t know you were leaving …”

Some losses arrive like storms, loud, sudden, undeniable.  And then some settle in silently, like a truth you never knew.

I recently lost a friend.  A college senior.  Not the closest buddy or confidante, but someone you would rush to and pick up from wherever you had left. We weren’t talking every day, but there was a quiet bond we shared. Life had moved us into different corners. There were occasional messages, a text on a festival, a birthday and the general “hope you’re doing well.” We chatted a long time back.  Had plans to meet our favourite Professor and have a reunion.  Then the messages became thin. He stopped replying and became one on my Broadcast list.

I assumed what we all assume: “must be busy - life happens - will connect soon.”

And somehow that day never came, and ended with a message from his brother, “Michael is no more.”

 

I didn’t know he was fighting cancer.  I didn’t know he was suffering.  He was surely surrounded, but without me in that circle.  And now, I sit with an uncomfortable grief.  Not just that he’s gone, but that I didn’t know he was leaving.

There’s a peculiar helplessness in this to wonder if he ever thought, even for a moment.

 

"She never called."  “She never checked in.”

Maybe he didn’t and understood the drift of life as we all do.  But grief doesn’t deal in certainties. It lingers in possibilities.  And so, this is not just about loss, it is about distance.  The kind we don’t notice growing.

We live in a time when staying connected is easier than ever, and yet, somehow, we are more absent from each other’s real lives. We scroll, we like, we assume. We take silence at face value.  But silence can mean many things. 

Most often it is busyness, but sometimes it can be illness, loneliness or some brutal struggle.  And sometimes, it is somebody quietly fighting a battle they haven’t found the words to share.

And those are the moments when a second message matters.  A call instead of a text.  A little persistence instead of polite distance.

Maybe they still won’t respond, maybe they won’t open up, but at least they will know that you tried to care enough and not stop at silence.  And perhaps, just as importantly, we who remain will not be left wondering what we could have done differently.

So here is a gentle plea to all of us who are always meaning to “catch up”- stay in touch, send the second message and make that hesitant call.  And if you are the one going through struggles, leave a clue, a word, or a sign.

Let someone in because when we leave, we don’t just take our stories with us, we leave behind questions in the hearts of those who cared.

And sometimes, those questions hurt more than the loss itself.

 

Image sourced from Google and is subject to copyright.

Systems over Resolutions : 1 min read

 

"New goals don't deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better habits, not chasing better results.

"James Clear, Atomic Habits

The second Friday in January is the day when most people give up their New Year's resolutions. Quitter’s Day is here, but this time, I’m doing it differently.

An estimated 92% of people (which sadly may include you and me) will abandon their New Year's resolutions by February, which is roughly three weeks from now.

But here's what makes the statistics truly painful. Most of us will know exactly what went wrong and do the exact same thing next year.

The difference between the 8% who succeed and everyone else isn't motivation. It's systems.

1.      Small actions, not big goals

Wanting to stay fit is quite indefinite, but walking two rounds after lunch or drinking water every hour is actionable. The gap between intention and action is bridged by specificity.

2.      Accountability partner

Studies show we're 65% more likely to complete goals when we commit to someone else. That number jumps to 95% with regular check-ins. Goals get closer when we share them with a friend or partner.

3.      Get unstuck quickly

Most goals don't fail for lack of effort.  They fail because we hit an obstacle, lose momentum, and never recuperate. Having a recovery plan when you are stuck can change everything.

4.    A steady Plan 

Staying consistent is difficult.  So rather than saying “I will write more often”, it will help to keep a target and a fixed deadline.

This year, let's try a structured system for lasting habits that we won’t quit ever.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Image sourced from Google and is subject to copyright.

When Progress Feels Invisible (1 min read)

Sometimes progress is like a supermoon.

On October 7th, in many parts of the world, the moon looked unusually big and bright in the night sky.

This phenomenon is known as the “supermoon”.  It happens when the moon, Earth, and sun align just right. Dramatic, hard to miss, and quite visible if it’s happening in your time zone.

But here’s something to reflect on - the moon did not suddenly become spectacular! Instead, it circled the earth for a long time, quietly doing its thing, and after days and hours, it shone its brilliance. Big moments are built in silence.

Often, we spend weeks or even months feeling like nothing changes. Maybe a perfect dance step, learning to crochet, or sticking to a fitness routine bears hardly any result. And sometimes it can even be longer. Like, years of searching for the right role, a much-awaited break, the perfect life partner, or some simple appreciation.  A rhythm so sedate that it takes us to the verge of quitting.

If you’ve been pushing toward a goal and feeling stuck, trust the path.  When the results are negligible compared to painstaking efforts, still keep going.  Big moments are built through small, invisible actions. The undeniable progress is proof of your quiet determination when no one was watching. The supermoon saw many dark new moon nights – shadowed and invisible.  But it kept circling, kept moving, and continued to show up.  

Most of us give up right before the visible breakthrough, keep circling the Sun, your Supermoon awaits!

Images are sourced from Google and are subject to copyright.

More Than Your Assumptions

Every year, Disability Day arrives like a polite reminder set by the world.  A day to talk about inclusion, accessibility, and equal opportunities.

While many remain on the sidelines, there’s a wind of change blowing, and I am too positive not to catch the breeze!!

A few days back, I was asked to show around our offices to a group of new recruits. My response, as always, was “sure, most gladly”.  After I disconnected the call, a much younger, agile and sprightly girl flashed before me. Someone who was never chosen despite what she brought to the table – even if it needed no physical effort.

Forever eclipsed by “ones” who had no “defect” and by what people assumed I could “not” do.  It was not my inability but the definition of the world around me that dismissed my capacity.  I had it all - creativity, talent, intelligence, and grit. But quiet, unnecessary exclusion pushed me to slip into an abyss of meagre achievements.

Settling back at my desk after the “tour”, I realised inclusion begins by looking beyond the obvious and partnering without pitying.  It starts with not being seen as an inspiration for just showing up.  It’s never about being a story of resilience or applause for existing.  And it is definitely not about special treatment or sentimental praise.  It’s about something simpler but far more radical - level field, access and chance.  An opportunity to contribute, to belong and to be seen and heard as a resource.

Kudos and cheers to the leaders who understand this simple fact – quietly, firmly, without a fuss.  To them, we are never on the extremes of the spectrum – not inadequate, nor inspirational – just regular.

And maybe… just maybe… the world otherwise is missing out more than we are by mere assumptions.

Change the narrative, look beyond, and you will find brilliance, impact and potential.

Images are sourced from Google and are subject to copyright.

A Million-dollar question for a billion little choices! (1 min read)

 

Prime Days, Big Billion Sales, and then the Black Friday Sale – fascinating! Isn’t it?

But have you noticed how most big purchases start losing value the moment we click “buy now?”

That new phone? Outdated in months. The fancy blender? Probably gathering dust in a few weeks. But investing intentionally compounds every single day!  

This brings us to a rare pause point to reflect on what we really need and what we want to acquire in the days ahead.

Is it about just converting visions into progress? Or progress that makes a difference.  Is it about finding a cause?  Or about a heart and mind that seeks out a purpose.

Inching towards a brand-new year, just after Thanksgiving and on Black Friday, I am asking myself a few questions:

Will I invest in more purchases, or will I select lasting changes?

What will my next “big investment” be? More possessions or more purpose?

What’s one area of my life I want transformed? My standard of living or my standard of giving?

Somewhere between desire and gratitude, I have found what truly endures when everything else fades.

So, here’s to choosing what lasts, what matters, and what truly compounds: purpose.

Ideal day - 1 min read

Have you ever dreamed of an ideal day? Better still, how often have you pursued an ideal day?

In the rush of work, family, and personal goals, we easily lose sight of true joy and purpose. Yet creating an ideal day through balance becomes a powerful way to realign with what actually matters.

Discovering the Priorities

Living intentionally means making conscious choices. How we spend our time, our interactions, and feelings as the day unfolds. Every small shift brings a meaningful change to our overall well-being.

Visualising an ideal day

• Set the scene by finding a quiet place. Minimise distractions. Now close your eyes and imagine your perfect day, beginning to end.
• Try to think specifically about your actions, company, activities, and feelings throughout the day.
• Identify the key elements and note down the most outstanding moment - activities, interactions, or feelings.
• Start small by picking just one element you can introduce in reality.
• 
  Make the change and observe how it impacts your sense of balance and fulfilment by noticing what shifts.

Here are my favourites that add to my ideal day

Family Front  

Every alternate evening and on weekends, we feed and care for our community dogs. Our prayer time after dinner, coupled with short casual discussions, is often the highlight of the day. On holidays, we cook together or take turns, turning it into a fun activity filled with lively conversations.

Personal Space

My morning prayer time and the Bible App readings set the day right. Some stretches and cycling at the gym, spending time with our dogs, and blogging are my ideal bits of the day.

Professional Domain 

Having moved to a different role, staying relevant and informed takes top priority. So apart from completing routine tasks and the occasional highs of cracking riddles in a new assignment, I set aside time for podcasts, articles, and constant learning.  I also schedule regular chats with a good friend who helps me with ideas, different perspectives, and new insights.

Choose one element of your ideal day, implement it this week, and let magic unfold!

Mindless Routines (Published on Linkedin and Facebook on 10th September 2025)

 

The other day, I caught myself scrolling on my phone. No purpose or plan, but an hour disappeared before I realised.

It wasn’t laziness, just autopilot. My brain was conserving energy at the cost of moments I lost forever.

We often slip into these unnoticed routines, mornings without intention, conversations without presence, or habits that slowly drain our days.

What shifted things for me was something small:

I wrote down three things I often do mindlessly.

️I chose one.

️Before doing it, I paused and asked: “Is this what I really want right now?”

That pause became a gift, turning drift into direction. It reminded me of something deeper - every small moment is precious. To be present is to respect the time that has been entrusted to us.

Big change rarely comes in sweeping gestures. It’s born in tiny intentions—those daily choices that realign us with what truly matters.

What’s one small intention you’d like to set today to redeem your time?