Lockdown and Locker Rooms
The recent Bois Locker Room incident
clearly points to the amount of denial we are living through. The primary points of influence for our children are home, educational
and religious/moral institutions while friends, peer groups, digital
world and the likes would be the second level. However, it is out in
the open for us to acknowledge what we have allowed our children to depend
on. Are we missing the mark in giving our future generation a robust
understanding of what lies within?
Volunteering
with a campaign for child sexual abuse, ABK[1]
has given me a deeper understanding and knowledge to handle
this. Blocking sites, chiding the offenders and hushing up incidents
as “regular occurrence”/“common these day’s” /“happening all the time” will not
serve the purpose.
As
adults weave through the new norms of work, home and different survival
concerns today, children/teenagers having gained an abrupt compulsory access to
gadgets and digital world are battling with a silent dilemma. There
is a whole new world that has reached their palms and desk’s that was perhaps
restricted to few or watched in huddles away from adult supervision.
Society
has largely been oblivious to the transformation in children that alter much
during puberty; the victims of this stupor are our
children. However, a recent surge of girls surfacing in a
domain largely believed to be dominated by males, indicate our failure of
proper guidance. This has got little to do with gender and more
about inadequate perception of the future consequences. It either
makes them perpetrators or victims. As parents, teachers, educators
and influencer’s we need to question our role. Have we directly or
indirectly pushed them into this quandary?
As
a mother, corporate professional, volunteer worker and mentor in my circles of
influence I have tried my best firstly by talking to my children; holding
voluntary sessions and requesting Housing Complex Committees, Educational,
Religious and Business institutions to facilitate these learnings. However,
it is disappointing to mention that most parents’ still feel “there is no need
to put things into their head”; schools are contented with the “Good Touch Bad
Touch” sessions and religious/moral institutions are blissfully keeping the
male-female divide subtly disallowing close free mingling of the two genders in
the name of respecting diverse cultures. As for corporate's, business houses and the likes, settle on "what's in it for me"?
We
fail to understand the consequences of such dismissal. These
children once thrown into universal spaces like college, work and beyond have
already lost or damaged the compass that navigates their ship. Eager
to live out pent up fantasies they may embark to experiment, based on their
misplaced valor and demand for thrill.
Parents,
educators and influencers, do remove the blinkers and look around; it could be
too late if there’s danger lurking around your safe
haven. Unfortunately, the signs may not show up early and often
ever. Look out for the bully or a tentative child, both could be
victims and sometimes an ally. Not all children who suffer abuse will
be an abuser or choose sexual harassment. They may become
manipulative; observers and mockers of victims and cohorts of
offenders. The craving to overpower can birth a bully or bad team
player. Often may not be as serious as sexual harassment that leads
to hashtag movements. It may be a
superior exerting unreasonable work pressure; a teacher who deliberately shames
a student a Chef who seduces another team mate; and much more.
Every
abused or abuser may not gang rape yet even any one of the above is a violation
of human dignity that is definitely unwelcome. The past will follow
into their future and we will be left wondering, did I have a role?