Often we cling to the same thoughts and beliefs that create our habits; even when they no longer serve our purposes. Unlearning is the process of letting go of such practices. As we unlearn, we begin to discard our past ways to discover new paths. A heightened sense of awareness allows us to recognize when we’re stuck and propels us forward.
Here are 7 unlearning I have embraced:
1. Perfectionism is overrated
There are many things we may like doing but lack expertise in. Similarly, I enjoy embroidery but someone commented - “hardly looks like embroidery". I stopped immediately till I began missing it. I resumed when I realised enjoying the process was more important than achieving excellence.
2. Negative self-talk
In an environment of perpetual “you can’t”, and “you should not”, it was easy to talk myself into being in my comfort zone. I lost opportunities and settled for a lot lesser than I deserved. Good friends, family and mentors helped me come out of this shell to hush those voices.
At almost 50 I have taken up academics on two platforms to equip myself for being gainfully engaged post-retirement. Today I am confident in saying – “yes, I can; why not?”
3. Unhealthy attachments
Diverse people and environments fascinate me and I build connections easily. This got me attached to a variety of individuals. While some of these exchanges have created beautiful associations; others have drained me emotionally and a few brought much pain.
I unlearnt the need to continue with such associations and accepted the need to detach from such interactions. I have set boundaries that keep me happy and healthy.
In our fast-paced world, we are often caught by constant productivity. I found taking breaks to replenish and recharge was acceptable. I don’t need to perform continuously. An idle mind can be the devil's workshop or it can be the cradle of creativity. The choice is mine.
5. Forget the crowd
FOMO is passé; try JOMO – the joy of missing out. Most people, who follow the crowd, don't know what they are doing; you don’t have to add to the number.
6. Beyond the Popularity game
I have found myself gasping at the “popularity trap”. The perceived lack of which underestimates a truly trustworthy and constant approach. I choose the latter and would rather remain reliable than be captured by short-lived admiration.
7. Always Happy is a myth
While happiness depends on our feelings, joy comes from within. If we are always happy, we might miss opportunities to improve ourselves or engage in some of the most meaningful endeavours of our lives.
Unlearning increases our flexibility and resilience; enabling us to better handle life’s challenges. The process simply nudges us to throw away our security blankets and feel the warmth of a different kind.
Happily unlearning to relearn!!