MEMORIES : 2 min read

 

The most bountiful riches live in our brain, memories.

             If we reflect on what life is all about, we can say with ease that part of life rests on memories. We save all the significant and joyful events that take place in our lives. We also remember the saddest and worst instants. Research says that the brain is the most powerful organ of the human body. And as part of the brain memory is a crucial section of it.

            Memories compose our being, every day we follow what we discover. I suppose memory is one of the safest aspects of our life. It goes with us when we die, we take nothing with us that we have now. Happy moments are like re-living them and feeling the delight we felt at the moment. Sad ones pain, us but we try to remain positive even if it brings negative feelings. The past is best left alone because it no longer exists. Yet, it is good that we own our memories. Things I want to engrave, or the things I want to forget, will leave traces in my mind. Recollection can ache or bring joy. Memory is like putting together the puzzle pieces of previous experiences. It is the core of the soul — like the wick in a candle without which it cannot give light.

             Can you imagine the splendour of memories? Nothing can touch the past except for memories. Painful recollections make us grow, happy memories help us bloom. When memories are gone, we become a newborn baby. Memories bring us every expression that humans have. I am, happy, to have my memories - the good, the bad and the ugly.

(Images sourced from Google and are subject to copyright. I do not own them.)

 

APPRECIATION : 4 min read

 “Threats to our standing in the eyes of others are remarkably potent biologically, almost as powerful as those to our very survival.” [1]   

            A positive reaction can brighten somebody’s day. So why not build people around us with joyful and humorous exchanges. Of course, without sounding phoney or insincere by saying things and not meaning them; timely and meaningful approval generates an aura of brilliance.

          The focus is to be authentic and distinctive and value something real about the person. There are several ways to articulate our admiration for others that strengthen relationships. Their infectious smile, bright personality, kind words and it can go on. It makes them feel supported, heard and valued.

          Here are some of my observations in my continuous journey of learning.

Being Precise and Personal

         Compliments that create effervescence are those that are exact points to the person. Instead of saying “you are amazing,” let us say why they’re amazing. If we like the painting someone made, “nice” isn’t enough. What is nice? Being specific works wonders.

     This reminds me of our first poetry assignment in Year 1 of college. We had written a critical analysis of “The Skylark”. The class had done a shoddy job and as for me, I went overboard using the word “beautiful”! Most of us got a dose of unforgettable reprimand. While handing over the answer script, my Professor, said “beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! For heaven’s sake please may, I also understand what you found beautiful?” It stuck so strong, these days I run word count to see if I repeated without qualifying.

         Mentioning something exact directs praise to the person and is genuine. There must be a reason to applaud and it’s nice to say it aloud. The more definite our effort is the more we will observe the worth of individuals. We generate a positive impression on the person.

           People love to hear their name. Verbalizing, in our unique style can be a way of presenting a kind word of feeling personal and special. We may consider starting by using their name. And also structuring words that revolve around the person.

      Names communicate recognition and a sense of adoration. Complimenting someone’s style seems shallow-observing their uniqueness can enliven the conversation. It goes beyond a smart shoe or a pretty necklace.

Acknowledging One's Effort and Impact

           

   When we appreciate someone it encourages and motivates both. If we want to thrill someone to their core, we must be observant. Admire their brave personality, kind-heart or gentleness rather than what they did. We can hear the difference between “you are so good” and “you gentle soul.” The word “good” describes an assortment of objects to aspects. Anyone and anything can be “good”, but only connecting the dots take it to another echelon.

            The key to appreciation is honesty and genuineness; period. No fluff and no lies. This also means picking the right moment rather than throwing them around.

            Most people love feeling appreciated; a positive word of their impact will mean the world. Yet, approving or articulating approbation for somebody seems awkward. Is it because we do not verbalise or communicate constructive sentiment? The core is to be unambiguous. Truthful and warm applause can be powerful in changing the way one perceives. Stating ‘you look great’ will have lesser influence than “I admire your lovely smile”.

           

           Gratitude, from the Latin word gratis is a feeling of appreciation. It is a positive response to kindness. Unfortunately, gracious admiration is a muscle we never felt enthused to build at all. We seem experienced in conveying negative emotions. At times, not identifying their scathing ramifications until much later; that is if we do at all. The aftermath of negative emotions, especially of devaluation is toxic and unfortunate. 

            Let us acknowledge; it is never too much to appreciate. In fact, it edifies gratitude, in our soul.

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[1] https://quotefancy.com/quote/1210830/Daniel-Goleman-Threats-to-our-standing-in-the-eyes-of-others-are-remarkably-potent

SHIFTING PARADIGMS THROUGH A PANDEMIC : PART 6 - 4 min read

Evolving Through Compassion

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” - Mother Teresa -

            All of us are looking for narratives; of how past catastrophic events have encouraged humans to act with remarkable compassion, courage and ingenuity. Can we foresee the same now; reverse the trend toward a meaner, lonelier, more polarized society?                 

  We are fortunate to be alive and breathing.  Interestingly, the threat of possibly needing a ventilator has sharpened our consciousness of the most advanced ventilator, our respiratory system. Late than never, we have accepted that we are experiencing a life-changing occurrence on a universal level. The only thing comparable in living history might be other pandemics like the Spanish flu and the world wars.

            We are wiser when we face the truth and progress practically but it's easy to retreat into denial or avoid accountability. The world has confronted and continues to do so with the Covid19 crisis with shutdowns unseen in living memory reminding us of some basic truths.

           As we watch the pandemic play out, we are compelled to adjust in trivial and monumental ways. However, we must also reflect on whether all should return to “normal” and think how our lives must alter, perhaps permanently.

    

        We live in a culture where we obsess on the “next” and “best”. While it has its positives, but constant up-gradation from methods of reorganising a closet, to the next best item to buy and general advancement at all times leads to low contentment. When someone offends us, or cease to fulfil our happiness, we walk away, looking for a better relationship. Our souls rarely settle, as our lives are planned, priced out, and seeking perfection. Sadly, we do not even notice the aching question behind our search for the next best thing. We desire fulfilment, rest, and joy that cannot be found in another person, place or project.

   

        The lockdown had reduced traffic and air pollution noticeably; lower attendance in offices and virtual ones at homes means spare commercial real estate that has freed up space for probable conversion into residences, educational institutes, clinics and playgrounds. Perhaps it is time to introspect whether construction of a shopping mall over a playground was a wise decision. Do we need more entertainment hubs to mushroom overnight by demolishing shelters and shanties?

         

   Colleges and universities today have expanded, turning accessible and affordable as distance learning is becoming commonplace. The on-campus college experience is transformed or eliminated; even if for the moment. Examinations requiring dozens, if not hundreds, of students to congregate are suspended and potentially discarded, as they discover possibilities online. An option of higher education for all from the remotest corners of the land looks promising.

   

        Circumstances have stimulated global acceleration of digitization; hence even if things return as before, voting by mail amongst many other activities may be one of the many new methods adopted, eliminating electoral expenses. Non-judgmental sick leave may become the norm where employers and coworkers will appreciate people staying home when they are ill. Universal health care, not just coverage will be a way forward. Telemedicine will hopefully be widespread as we concentrate on the expansion of local treatment centres and medical care facilities. Eradication of the virus is not the objective at this point. No one can wish the virus away; it won’t vanish - not before a successful vaccine is found. The goal is to slow it down and keep that curve level.

            Apart from individuals, we are directly responsible for like our household helps, chauffeur etc, we can find a family and send support. There are innumerous NGOs and Organizations who are doing it in a safe and structured manner. We may not be at ground zero currently but we can assist remotely. We can contact schools, maybe our own and pay someone's tuition fees, help someone restart a business or tweak it to something more doable. We can give the local vendor who has reopened his shop/business some extra amount when we buy his stuff. Leave the change for a taxi, auto-rickshaw etc. Pay someone's rent, or keep ration at a struggling family’s doorstep. Many organizations are assisting the needy. It could be difficult to entrust money to unknown sources but there are numerous connects who are involved with such activities and can be trusted.

           

        When we wish to create waves of change and positivity we find alternate paths. Let us hope and aspire sincerely that we all come out of the COVID nightmare not better but way better and allow ourselves to slow down. But then, choices are what we make - we either make efforts of coming out better or we stay back and worse we go back.

The choice is ours!

Technology Upgrades: Empowers and enhances life, effortlessly; balancing the equation!! : 2 min read

       

            The efficiency of living sans new technology can be very compromising! The debate is longstanding and daunting, both for and against.  

            Back in our days, a trunk call was a family gathering. Commuting alone meant leaving parents in trepidation. As for individual’s with special needs, there had to be an escort. 

            Today, in seconds we are traversing continents with our gadgets and the internet. Anything we want from information to entertainment is available at our fingertips. Travel is easier and accessible, movements possible to track reducing assisted travel for special people and almost cease worry for parents.

             Personally, travelling by public transport makes way for multiple experiences. One gets to see the populace from every strata and arena of society, rushing to make ends meet equipped with limited resources and even more limited time.

             Yet, for some of us like myself, who joined the bandwagon of "smart devices" later on, a slight shift from “normal” renders hushed judgment at times (my bad!).

            Last week, I stood next to a young boy on a video call with no earphones; I assumed the conversation was probably inaudible because of the train wheels crashing down the rails. I silently judged, "What if there wasn't any noise, the entire compartment would hear them; ridiculous youngsters!"

  

    As he impatiently gesticulated while he got off and I looked on, my haze lifted, allowing me to read his gestures. The day end fog rose and I became conscious of his speech and hearing impairment; perhaps talking to someone with either the same challenge or who had learnt the language to communicate.

             It was an incredible moment. Of course, initially I was embarrassed at judging the younger generation and their senseless use of gadgets. But then, I smiled at the thought he left with me and the unfettering resolve I witnessed. It spoke of empowerment.

             A few years ago, the world was mute for him. Today, with various inventions and advancements, the barriers of despair are breaking down. The need to be dependent, for the challenged, the differently enabled, and the marginalized; are reducing and will soon disappear.

            Amazing what opportunity the future holds. New technology unifies a larger group instantly; when geography, language, cultures, education, distances are no longer a barrier for citizens from all walks of life towards quality living.

Photo Credit: Sourced from Google Images

Originally  Published on May 7, 2019, for LinkedIn

RESILIENCE : 2 min read

             

 

            Our short trip to the North East, which was my fourth; revealed a very different beauty of this region. Earlier, I had mostly visited in winter. It was spring. While every sight of this stunning location was breathtaking, there was one unique aspect of a certain flowering plant that caught my attention. They appeared in various shades, shapes and clusters. Yet, strangely the entire shrub or creeper, as it had grown were bereft of leaves. If one would describe blandly, they seemed like dried reeds with blooms. I looked on and on quizzically as we drove through the spiralling highways and dusty villages. This time round I did not quite get to chat up the drivers of our vehicles which I often do, maybe on my next visit.

            However, the flowers made me contemplate. Have you ever been told, you are just a withered cluster of nothing? That you have decayed or dehydrated in the scorching heat? Your environs are akin to arid brushwood, not conducive to growth and splendour? Take a good, hard look at this flower. It's gorgeous, resilient and blooming amongst twigs and obscurity.

            Oh! Don’t forget to glance at the tiny bloom among the dry grass, blossoming a happy yellow. Spreading cheer and happiness in parched surroundings.

PS: - The fresh green leaves in the background in the first image is from another creeper growing together.

#resilience #travel #beautifulindia #growth #travellessons 

This article was originally written on Linkedin a year ago.

RUNWAY TAKEAWAY’S : 4 min read

(PS - This article was originally written and submitted to ITC E-News on 14th February 2020)

“I aM” in IMPOSSIBLE makes it POSSIBLE

            Several years back a close friend was amid a career obstacle.  A dynamic personality, not at ease by assuring words alone, needed an out of the box justification.  An asset to any organization, full of life workhorse was restless.

            So one day while we were at one of our regular calls; he said, "I can't sit still like this, I move; I used to run continuously, at times so fast that objects were blurred beside me.  I realised which city it was as car number plates whizzed by me.  I was always hopping on and off aeroplanes and should have been flying now".

            Out of the blue, without a pause, I asked him-"hey tell me from your experience, what happens when the plane has run quite a bit on the runway just before it takes off?"  He thought I was mad and did not understand my strange question.  So he asked me to complete my crazy illustration.

            I promptly replied, "It slows down and stops; then it runs like nobody's business and before one realises it flies into the sky, higher and higher".

            It took less than a second for this sharp mind to connect the dots and he was quite pleased with this straightforward illustration.  To my good fortune, he has not only started that fast run but is already flying high into the skies.

            Are you feeling like you have stopped? Stuck in a situation? Not moving at the same speed?  It is your pause moment.  Take a deep breath and wait.

            Don't ever limit your imagination; keep striving.  Dream the most impossible because there’s only an “IM” before possible.  

(I”LL Make it) POSSIBLE When it looks (IM) POSSIBLE.

RESET NOT  SETBACK

            Most of my trips are on holidays as I don't travel on work. The return journey from Pobitora, Assam,[1] in January this year, gave me a new experience. My aircraft began moving in the opposite direction before it could start taxiing and gather speed on the runway to takeoff.

 

            This was possibly a regular phenomenon but for a vacationer, it was a first. In fact, it took a second to figure out we were going backwards. I asked my husband, who walks into airports like they were his home (he is an auditor!) and also a couple of frequent flyer friends. Well, they all dispensed my observation as immense creativity.

 

            So I asked my niece, Head Cabin Crew, at Emirates to validate the incident. Thankfully she said, I was right and maybe the plane had been parked too close to another one or some obstruction wherein a backward movement was necessary. I searched the internet and found, it was rare but did occur while pulling away from the gate. Also known as reverse thrust. I realised airports, flights and tarmacs were not a novelty for them. Poor guys, they travelled far too much.

 

            The aeroplane had gone behind for a good three minutes, then taxiied, picked up the pace, halted, sped some more and we were in the skies.  While the plane went behind, it moved very slowly. I was almost worried and felt it was a snag. A quick flash of a previous runway lesson led me to introspect about the backward movement. I thought for a moment, isn't it familiar? Do I see a parallel? Often, in life, we move backwards either by choice or by force. Should we stop moving?

 

            No! We need to step back and taxii slowly, steadily and calmly to the right spot before we ascent.  Never hesitate to back off. We can always use the occurrence to fine-tune our position before soaring again.  A reverse thrust dealt appropriately can propel our flight safely and smoothly to greater heights.

 

            A step back is never a setback if you choose not to sit back. Seize the moment to stop and retrace your path. Deskill, unlearn, take a beating; then make a U-turn- re-skill, learn afresh and soar the skies.

A Setback is to Reset.

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[1] http://www.maibongecoresort.com/

https://www.mywildindia.com/

http://www.pobitora.com/

HUNGER and the VIRUS - 4 min read

            The first catastrophe I ever understood was the floods of 1978. Wars, emergency, riots and many more did pass by both closely and from afar; however, the current pandemic resulting in the lockdown has been the first major global crisis in my lifetime.

            Am not depressed or fretful in any way; however, at the same time I am definitely not ecstatic and exuberant about the troubled waters we are sailing through. I sincerely apologize for not 'accepting' any challenges, not posting food and bakes (as enquired by many of my friends). Not doing the stuff I generally do and love to share. Yet I appreciate every challenge, every

post, picture, games, dares, every fun and positive images floated on Social Media.

            Hunger and unemployment have engulfed the world as the Covid-19 digs its tentacles deeper on the socially vulnerable and they fall into destitution quickly. "Hunger will kill us before any disease does," said the rickshaw puller from Jaunpur, in Uttar Pradesh. Thousands queue up daily at government-run shelters, private facilities, NGO's, Volunteer Groups, Free food mobiles etc for food and water --out of hunger subsuming the virus threat and the need for social distancing. In-between battling hunger and joblessness, they know about COVID19 and its risk. Yet it's an awareness that barely registers in their conscious as they wait alike amongst a large crowd of the daily wagers, jobless, homeless, beggars and many forced to beg for the first time in their lives They gather outside shelters, the vitality of food overriding the necessity to maintain at least one-meter social distance and the risk of infection.

            Most people are without masks, leaving them vulnerable to the disease that has affected more than 590,000 people worldwide and claimed over 27,000 lives. "What option do I have? Where else can I go? I am hungry. I am homeless", is what you hear repeatedly. It's the same everywhere; no face masks no washing of hands regularly or following social distancing. Their first priority is food. Videos of serpentine queues of people, sitting close on the floor as they are served their meal or handed out boxes, foils and containers of food have been doing the rounds on social media. Many continue to be hungry, images of children eating stale rice from a polythene bag, a beggar foraging for food in a garbage bin behind a toilet or the marginally better one's borrowing money from their friends every day because their kids are hungry and they have no money left.

Personally, a few things have kept me away from "experimenting with my culinary skills".

1.     While we are happily replenishing our stocks, millions are on the streets without food.

2.      I have four kids of my family and kids like my own, who are currently in different cities of the world. No, they aren't starving but battling a pandemic alone in various degrees of lockdown and uncertainties of career and employment is different from being alone under "normal" circumstances.

         3.  Ranjit, my husband is the sole caretaker for all external needs of a family of six.  Therefore, the more I exhaust my stocks, the more I push him out of the house increasing his exposure to the virus (home delivery isn't frequent in our locality).

          4. I have comfortably cooked exotic meals for almost 50 people at a time and I always dream of starting a 'free kitchen' to will cook and bake for the underprivileged.  Yet today, when I could use this capability, am unable due to the rules and complexities.

The silly sensitive me finds the timing all haywire. I have paused. I desire to halt; it is my time to slow down. If we all make it to the other side of COVID 19, I will be able to joyfully share my kosha mangsho, biryani, steak, manchurians, focaccia and pasta. I will offer you the visual treats of my bakes and pot roasts. And if you promise to drop by, my table will be laid out with love in every dish and warmth in every condiment.

But, don't tell me now.

 This is not a vacation we are spending. This isn't a holiday. This is war the entire world is fighting against an invisible, currently invincible enemy. I cannot find a cure, I can but support just a few and be of minimal assistance even if I want to. I am utilizing my time to go within. I know a hunger-free world sounds utopian. However, I do wish to hang in on this seemingly endless battlefield by practising minimalism; at least till hunger due to the death dance dies down.