Challenged for Change - Part 2 : 3 min read

The Survival P.A.C.K

PERSPECTIVE - APPROACH - CONVICTION - KNOWLEDGE

My thought process needed a tweak from operating in absolute terms. That said, I also understood from where this came. A practising Christian, the middle path meant compromise and, grey was unacceptable. These terms were sacrosanct and ingrained in my psyche. What I failed to comprehend was their application.

Balanced thinking is about seeing facts and staying focused. It is learning to see the shades of grey in life without compromising on areas that call for black or white views. In most cases, understanding shades of grey helps not only to navigate the self but also to accept others.

Grey can be unexciting because thinking in extremes has its thrill. Even if you protest that you don’t want drama as I did. The adrenaline rush it creates can be a fixation without you even knowing it. Thinking in the middle helps in better decision making. In the long term, it is a far more exciting prospect rather than believing “all the world’s a stage.”

I needed help but hesitated. It could prove that I was wrong or weak. Worse still, one might have thought I was unhappy. While neither was true, the paranoia was because of my past. An infliction on the body is visible but mental wounds remain unseen. Thus, untreated. If you break an arm, you will not ignore it or put off treatment. It is important to treat mental and emotional health issues.

As a God-fearing person, it would be natural to turn to Spiritual leaders. I will be honest here; the fear of judgement was very high. This got reiterated when a leader scolded me for being on medication for anxiety.

The next choice would be psychologists and therapists. Being in uncharted territory, I was following a known therapist to get a pulse of such treatments. The experience was disastrous. It was so bad that I started hating every word of psychology.

The third route I tried was extensive reading, self-study, and online resources. I was always keen on higher education. Investing time in reading reignited my desire to study. An unexpected opportunity allowed me to enroll on a distance programme in theology.

At the orientation session, some of the first lessons had nothing to do with the Bible. Neither the Gospel nor God. We learnt cognitive behaviour, lateral thinking, and psychometrics. The classes felt like I was sitting in one of my corporate offsite programmes.

It began; the seed for change had been sown. I felt positively challenged and had a world of possibilities bubbling within.

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