Thursday, 24 February 2022

Why Me?Oh-Me-Cron!! (Why Me Omicron?) : 3 min read

 Why Me?-Oh-Me-Cron!!

(Why Me Omicron?)


Fun fact, Covid19 arrived on my birthday! [1]And the omicron was classified as a VOC[2] on my wedding anniversary![3] And in the New Year, it finally caught up with me. I'm hoping the coincidences end there, but they make me squirm when mentioned. The world was about to take a deep breath. Yet, hopes of the virus resembling the common cold came crashing as omicron had different plans. The pandemic has exhausted us and no one is spared from fear and apprehension. I have been anxious many times over. But trust in God, remaining informed, and laughter kept me grounded.

 

My only concern was that my daughter was still unvaccinated. I tracked every update on children's vaccination. She also registered on Cowin in the hopes of receiving the vaccine by the first week of January. But we both tested positive a day before the intended date. I felt disappointed and completely defeated. Overwhelmed, by questions on what good was it being so careful, I had no answers.

 

Sure, Covid got us and we became infected. It made me look stupid since I stayed isolated, declining invitations, excursions and social gatherings. I could, however, breathe "guilt-free", knowing we hadn't been careless or inconsiderate. Hence even though the infection was a surprise exam, the question paper wasn’t difficult.

 

Two weeks of exclusive mother-daughter bonding came as a bonus. And yes, we survived each other's company!

 

So why am I saying all this?

 

Definitely not a popular thought! But I won't hesitate to say that the risk of running through the entire Greek alphabet is not overruled. Following this, there is every possibility of more variants. And, as much as we all desire it to go away, this virus is here to stay. But, future illnesses may not resemble the ones we are familiar with.

 

Here's what I learned during our confinement:

 

1. Whether you're sick or the caregiver, stay calm and be reasonable.


2. A network of caring people keeps you cheerful. Unless you're too ill or constrained, stay connected.


3. If the virus spared you, be thoughtful. Offer help and be available. Even a simple text can cheer folks who may otherwise feel isolated.


4. The pandemic has revealed many advantages of our smartphones. Make the best use of it.


5. Have fun - We all know the saying “laughter is the best medicine”,[4] Proverbs 17:22. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones”. Meaning laughter heals. Psychologist Sean Truman also says, “comedy can serve as mental armour to ensure safe passage through tragic times.”[5]


6. Reading can be difficult during illness. View content, including movies, videos and reels.


7. Stay informed. Never before in human history has there been such a wealth of information at our disposal. But stay watchful of "Social Media University"! Learn, unlearn and relearn – repeat.


8. Let’s get humble - insolence is still the worst contributor to this pandemic. The virus has taken us by our scruff and we cannot be “too careful”.


9. Think about yourself and everyone else in the process. We must aim for normalcy, any unnecessary rush may further the pandemic. Make room for the essentials.



In the words of António Guterres, “This is a time for prudence, not panic. Science, not stigma. Facts, not fear.”[1] The past two years made us resilient. We developed new ways to deal with the emerging times. So let good sense, collectedness, knowledge and courage prevail. And we will emerge stronger from this battle.



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Monday, 14 February 2022

Challenged for Change - Part 4 : 7 min read

Recap: From anxiety attacks due to traumaPart 1 to brain fog, insomnia and health issuesPart2 that required seven medications a day; it was an arduous journey.Part 3 What helped me to crossover? How have I healed? What did I confront? And the comforts I gave up. In this final episode, I have shared how I continue to cope by investing in a circle of influence, good habits and persistent learning.


TRANSFORMATION: THROUGH DETERMINATION AND DISCIPLINE 

  

Change is not an event but a constant process and a lifelong opportunity to improve ourselves and grow. It may appear to be intimidating but not at all impossible. We cannot simply change once, twice or thrice but change each time the season arrives.

That said, each move towards a change must be tangible and actionable which helps us to know what we want. We may think it takes a single big event to make all the difference. But the truth is, it takes more than that one radical change. Any significant change requires lots of minor changes.


A lifelong learner

Learning something new is the surest way to change. What is learning something new? It means that nothing stops me from being a better version of myself. I have started by reading and learning one new thing every day. It could be as simple as an article on Google Chrome news on my mobile or a DIY from YouTube videos.

I am discovering myself afresh every day -recognizing my likes and dislikes, what works and what doesn’t. This has helped me identify who can or cannot help me achieve my goals and accept those who won’t. The application of this fresh awareness helps me grow as a person. Self-improvement is an achievable journey and very doable.

Mind your mind

 

It’s incredible to uncover what our mind has on repeat. Often these thoughts grow out of proportion and distort our thinking. It tilts our experience of reality, such that we take it to be the truth. In psychology, these thoughts are frequently called “cognitive distortions”.[1] We can work around this by:

Focus on the now -  Acknowledge and accept your feelings but don’t dwell in the past. Learning to move is crucial. I began this journey by strengthening relationships and practising gratitude. I have invested in a circle of influence to build a strong network; fabulous mentors and friends keep me guided. Humming hymns, reading the Bible and praying gives me strength. Studying and writing blogs exercise my mind. Philanthropy and counselling bring purpose and satisfaction. Tending house plants and caring for my pet give me much-needed relaxation. Oh! Not to forget, a few rounds of our driveway gives me some physical exercise.

Kindness is universal, so be kind. It is the power to overlook someone’s weakness. “A life not lived for others is not a life,” observed Mother Teresa. Simple acts of kindness are remembered more than anything you leave behind. And that’s what matters in the end.

Admitting our mistakes take courage. It means giving up our pride and agreeing to be candid and exposed. The power of an apology can be unleashed with one little sentence, “I’m sorry.” Though small in stature, it is very profound. So go ahead and apologise, it does wonders to your mind.[2]

Forgive- it is the willingness to let go of the pain from the past. It is a decision to move ahead with greater potential for inner peace and freedom. Letting go of a painful past has powerful health benefits that go together with the practice. So forgive often.[3]

Lastly, for minding the mind efficiently, thank more and thank habitually. Mean it from the heart and see the happy faces that light up your soul.

Drop the extremes [4]

Never force yourself to restrain your emotions nor express out of impulse. So, instead of pushing away, let them be around. Stay alert for unwanted thoughts to return but don’t look for implied meaning always. If you do, you may fixate more on them. Process the thoughts. Tough call but it pays to recognize your triggers.

In order to process our experiences, we must accept our feelings. We need not stay in denial or force ourselves to be positive. That can hurt one’s mental health. Hiding our feelings behind a garb of false positivity can be dangerous.[5] Take care to keep semblance.

Extreme positive thinking is also recognized as distorted thinking [6]gone the other direction. Like negativity, it can be a way to avoid reality and take responsibility for one’s experiences. So only reciting positive affirmations rarely solves anything. A balance of action and intention works best. Understanding which way we are heading can be tricky. Seek help if you need it and find your best method. But taking help when required is a must.

Force nothing

One must never have to force anything; whether relationships, friendship, or even career. If deep within the feeling isn't natural, it's most often not the right thing. Say, if you wince every time a person calls, chances are you are clearly not interested. Or if you are trying to keep an old friendship while your friend forgets you exist, then it’s time to move on. There's a difference between working hard for something and forcing it. When we strive towards a goal, we are eager to achieve it with our entire being.

“To feel accepted is a nearly universal human desire”.[7] It is a longing to be on someone’s “nice list”[8] to develop and nurture our relationships with them. Our worry about what others think of us comes from the trepidation that we may lose friends or intimacy. Often tempting us to overshare our lives when the whole loop of judgment and opinion can rattle our minds. So I decided to choose who I discuss my daily struggles with. It is private and should reach ears that listen, not hear.

Life is too short to waste on what we don’t want. Focus on the essentials. If you have to force something and say "yes" to appease; if it doesn't come from the heart then it's not meant for you. So, accept and expect rejection[9] but don’t catastrophize.[10] Saying "no" and moving on is difficult but one of the most empowering feelings.

Manoeuvre

Drivers in Kolkata can drive anywhere in the world! And despite the unsolicited navigation I offer to my husband I admit he is an excellent driver. Exceptionally skilled at manoeuvring potholes, vehicles, stray animals, jaywalkers, and the likes.

I have learnt an important lesson through these travels. The sudden blocks need instant action. But you must be mindful of the old ones - they exist. So you are gentle on a puddle not knowing what lies beneath. You slow down to improve visibility. Drive around a big depression and sometimes completely change your route. Ditto in life! A sudden situation or an old foe - both are negotiable. So work around the obstacles, it is a roadblock, not a dead-end.[11]

Yet, despite it all, we have met with several accidents. Whoa! There you go! Now what?

The best way is not by self-pitying or waiting for things to happen. There will always be some auto to break a light, jaywalkers may topple our bike and the cyclists cause us to skid. We can argue till the cows come home. But, ultimately, we will have to fix the damages. That’s it – the mechanic will not walk up to us, neither will a dispensary appear like magic to treat my grazed knee. Attend to your wound, heal and move on.

How to overcome, when one size does not fit all?

Evolve - learn, grow and develop systems to rise above through cumulative and combined methods. Much to my delight, I found a book that confirms the above.[12] That’s what will make the change stick with you for the rest of your life.

These aren’t the only changes that will work, but they have helped me and might help you too. Things can get so bad at times that one may feel miserable. But no matter how wrong it all seems, you can change it. For me, whenever I need strength, I turn to my faith in God. Prayer encourages me to transform my positives into little successes of their own. It’s up to me how big or small they seem. I know them and am confident they will add up.

In the end, if I want to change, I must make the effort.

“You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” -C.S. Lewis”

That’s a powerful way to change!!


[8] Like Santa Claus’s Nice and Naughty List




(Image sourced from Google and are subject to copyright. I do not own them.)





 

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