Dealing with Anxiety-My Learning's : 4 min read

Unfavourable circumstances, missteps, inexperience and unawareness about available help led me to suffer for over a decade.

At the age of thirty-eight began for me what would be a struggle of over a decade. Some unfortunate circumstances and my inexperience united to unleash their fury on me. The intimidations grew out of proportion culminating in the onset of panic attacks.

One night fear overwhelmed me and I woke up in an ICCU bed. I’d never experienced such fright. Blame and slander created a deep and all-encompassing feeling of shame. That night began a period of insomnia, depression, and general health issues. It amplified the anxiety.

I tried coping on my own. I did not understand nor had the courage to ask for help. I suffered needlessly for over ten years. I needed medical help when my health began deteriorating. Looking back, I have identified my own missteps. And it was when I overcame them that I started making progress.

Here are some things I would do differently today.

1. Fearlessness: Look fear in the eye. Nothing should interrupt your peace[1]. In trauma-induced anxiety, face every situation with confidence. Each time you feel overwhelmed, study the pattern and regain your power by confronting it.

2. Resistance: A natural response forcing one to dwell on a situation[2]. We focus all our attention on feeling inadequate and wait for relief. Trying to “manage” often leads to unwanted stress. After a lot of struggle, I realised this position did not help. So I revisited my assumptions and reached for help[3].

3. Feeling hopeless: We start having extreme negative thoughts. We begin to see conspiracy and catastrophise[4]. This stops us from thinking right. Our fears and feelings end up constituting the main part of our condition.

4. Is it only in the mind?: This one piece of advice will be rampant. I wouldn't say I liked hearing it and opposed every such suggestion[5]. While anxiety may not be all in your mind[6],

please pay attention to what plays in a loop in your mind. For me, medication took care of the physiological aspects. I tried staying positive and prayed. But even my strong faith faltered making me feel unworthy and imperfect. I began reading and listening to podcasts that combined science and faith. I took up academics, streamlined my life with gainful activities and took professional help[7].

5. Regret: “Everything was good before! I wish I could go back!” These constant thoughts bring nothing but harm. Dwelling in the past and planning too much ahead makes it harder[8]. So, live in the moment and take small steps to achieve this. The rule of 1% is an interesting concept to inculcate[9].

6. Repetitive Thoughts: When anxiety gets triggered, people often deliberate. They experience uncontrollable repetitive thoughts. Rumination[10] can become depressive. Engaging your brain in something else helps to disrupt rumination. Studies show how even a short positive distraction can help disrupt it. I began small tangibly productive projects. Recycling waste, indoor plants and caring for strays to name a few.

7. Retain your power: Observe and identify when to pick your battle. Pause, get silent, and recognise your trigger. With practice, you will be able to find silence in the presence of your torment. You may need initial breaks from people or situations to stay calm. Temporary detachment helps. When the mind quietens ask yourself pertinent questions about your own actions. What could you do better? What could be avoided? Process the feeling and move. But, do remember to return to the people and situations soon. Sometimes breaks can lead to the point of no return.

8. Go deeper: Ask yourself what is true and what isn’t. Put yourself in the other person’s perspective. And imagine that they may have a different story running in their mind. Get out of your self-focused perspective and open up to the other individual. Remember not to turn into the very thing you are disapproving of. Go a little further and be grateful for the opportunity to learn. Take inspired actions and focus your energies on being productive. Change your stress from distress to eustress[11].

Our actions can burden us till long after the dust has settled. We replay and reflect on what we could do differently. Rather than dwelling on them, set aside time to review the information gathered. If you still want to process the feelings, do so in a structured way. Mistakes do not define us. The fact that we paused over them, says that we wish to become a better version of ourselves.

Let us embrace this spirit. Remember self-improvement is a continuous process with room to get better always.

PS-The thoughts shared above are my personal views from what I experienced. Please read, research and consult a professional before you step out to help yourself. 

Images are sourced from Google and are subject to copyright.

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[1] https://www.selfimprovementdailytips.com/podcast/do-not-let-the-behavior-of-others-destroy-your-inner-peace

[2] https://www.stressresilientmind.co.uk/articles/how-resistance-avoidance-tension-show-up-in-stress-anxiety

[3] Medical doctors, Pastors, Psychologists, family and friends

[4] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/catastrophizing

[5] https://hbr.org/2020/05/leading-through-anxiety

[6] https://conscious.is/blogs/the-cognitive-emotive-loop-what-it-is-why-it-keeps-you-stuck-and-how-to-break-free

[7] https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/coping-strategies

[8] https://activechristianity.org/forget-the-past-12-bible-verses-about-moving-on#:~:text=%E2%80%9CDo%20not%20remember%20the%20former,Isaiah%2043%3A18%2D19

[9] James Clear, Atomic Habits, Chapter 1, Pg 16

[10] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-self-sabotage/201002/rumination-problem-solving-gone-wrong

[11] https://www.choosingtherapy.com/eustress-vs-distress/